I have spent the better part of my life dodging chances. I’m not a timid person by any means and I’m certainly not afraid of rejection. Letting opportunity walk by is a little deeper than everyone’s normal excuses.
I have a lot of demons in my life, some I’ve over come and others are still a work in progress. My life has never been easy. I’ve spent my young teens and adulthood making decisions and facing the repocussions of these decisions. My biggest demon is finances, growing up poor, living paycheck to paycheck, being compulsive and having had a drinking problem led me over the years to completely screw myself, even today. I never learned how to manage money and I didn’t have a good example growing up. I fight myself every single day about where I should be and where I’m not. Another demon is how much I beat myself up about dropping out of both high school and college. There’s nothing worse than seeing people your age with great jobs, homes and cars. When these people ask you what you do you say “vet tech” and they ask about school and you say “no” every single person gives the same answer “oh, that’s cool” but their faces are all judgement. The hardest thing to do is wake up and do a job that you’ve been doing for eleven years and you still aren’t compensated for the amount of work you do AND you simply don’t want to do it anymore. It crushes you daily.
I day dream often about being paid to workout, model and train people so that they can experience how awesome it is to lift! I want to share my passion with the world, I want to inspire the world with my body and words. I want people to say they they kept going because of me. It hurts knowing that this is going to remain a dream for a very long time, if not forever. So every day I follow my fitness idols, read articles about fitness, I go lift and watch the people more fit than me and I can only think that I would kill to be them. I wonder if they treat their profession with passion and love, not just because it’s a paycheck, because shame on them if they don’t see how lucky they are to be where they are.
I’ve seen contests from body building companies looking for models but I look past. I just felt like there was no way so why bother. Yesterday I saw one and I started reading about how to enter and it seemed simple enough so I did it… I was embarrassed at first. I was worried what people would think for me wanting likes on a photo to help me win. After I entered I posted the link to my Facebook page and I was touched by what happened. In the course of just a few hours I had over ten friends share the post and I had 70 likes before I knew it. Although I know I won’t win it was absolutely amazing to see the support from friends, acquaintances and strangers. These are people that believe in me, they don’t see what I see in myself, they see me as someone deserving of a win. It really made me feel great.
I will continue to push every single day because this is what I love. Even if I never do this as a career, I will still work harder than everyone because this is what I was made to do. https://youtu.be/BNwhWgt5CSg
Here’s the like below to my contest I’m up to 136 likes!! Incredible!!